


Promises broken and kept

by navvy



Series: Promises series [1]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, But it ended not being cheating really, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:34:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22085722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navvy/pseuds/navvy
Summary: Findekáno has a history of making reckless decisions in the wake of hopeless situations. Of course, in beautiful Aman things were supposed to be fair and happy. But when the tensions between their families are high, both Maitimo and Findekáno have a difficult time fighting for their relationship. With the both of them separated for such a long time, can they keep they relationship going?
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo, Maglor/OFC
Series: Promises series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628068
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. Of reckless decisions and consequences

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason, despite this being is my favorite pairing, I haven't written much of them (maybe because they're my favorites?) Anyway, I've decided to start a ~~small vignette~~ damn!! short story (i hope) with a scene which has been in my head for a while. I get the idea (probably from many fanfics) that Maedhros was the peacemaker of the family, self-sacrificing and the like. And that Fingon was the more spontaneous of the two and the one who wanted to scream their love no matter the consequences. Also, I've read a LOT of fanfics where Maedhros doesn't put his relationship with Fingon anywhere near a priority. I wanted to make a small fic where this was something which hurt Fingon, and for once Maedhros would react and do something about it. It ~~is~~ was just meant to be a one-shot (now it will probably be a short story I hope) although the story is open to continue with their relationship. I actually have a few plots ideas with this in mind.  
> For now, quite a bit of angst in this one, I hope someone out there enjoy it! 
> 
> Names cheat sheet, I like to use the Quenya names instead the Sindarin ones. I like them and I think it's what they would use anyway:  
> \- Fingon: Findekáno, Finno  
> \- Maedhros: Maitimo, Nelyafinwë, Nelyo, Russandol, Russ  
> \- Maglor: Makalaüre, Káno  
> \- Curunfin: Curufinwe, Curvo  
> \- Carantir: Morifinwe, Moryo.

Findekáno grabbed for another hold on the wall he could barely see. The wind on the cliff he was barely holding on to was making his climbing even more precarious. However, he wasn't going to turn back, now he had reached this far. He was past the time he could easily go back to the ground and he wouldn't have even if he could. He didn't want to confront the pain which had made him come this way and that was what would be waiting for him if he turned back now. 

As much as he liked to climb the more daring challenges and enjoy the beautiful sights from the highest peaks, this time he wasn't even enjoying it. It wasn't, even in his more daring adventures, the ideal moment for this. From the moment he had found this spot on the shore, with its beautiful cliffs and caves, he had been planning to explore it. He had promised _him_ not to go alone, and to wait for a safe moment for both of them to go exploring together. That had been a few years ago, but he hadn't minded waiting, as he enjoyed their escapades together even more than simply exploring the land. Even if he had lost patience and wanted to explore alone, he wouldn't have chosen the night to make the climb, and even less a night like this one with the high winds and hint of a storm coming from the sea. However, logical arguments and cold reason hadn't guided his thinking this night. When he had seen _them_ together... all former promises had fled from his mind and he had only been able to stumble away from the sight and the party and leave before he was seen. Before _they_ saw him and laughed at him... before anyone else on their family saw him and were able to read the pain engraved in his face.

A stroke of wind pushed him again against the cliff surface, and he paused, holding tightly to the rocks to recover his balance. While he was there trying to get his breath back he heard a familiar voice calling his name from below:

"Findekáno!!!" - Maitimo's voice called. Findekáno looked down towards the sound and saw what he thought it may be the familiar red-head of his cousin somewhere below him. He felt a rush of _something_ , as he always felt when he saw him, but after that first moment of happiness, he remembered why he was climbing this wall and hardened his heart to the sight.

"Go back! Why are you here? Go back Maitimo!" - he answered back, turning back and continuing his climbing. Maitimo called back to him again.

"Findekáno! Finno! Wait for me! You shouldn't be climbing this, there is a storm coming!" - the older elf said. Findekáno ignored the order and continued his climb.

"You should turn back Maitimo. No one asked you to be here, I'm sure your date is feeling lonely without you, you should go back to her. I'm not your concern anymore...not that I ever was" - he said, climbing faster, trying to escape his cousin. When he didn't get an answer, he tried to feel happy about it. Maybe the other had turned back as he asked... then he heard an exclamation, and the noise of rock breaking. He looked down, trying to spot his cousin. - "Maitimo! Maitimo? Are you alright? Maitimo?" - he asked, waiting a few moments for an answer. None came back, except for the wind around him. Worried, but not yet scared, he hadn't heard the noise of a body falling into the sand after all, he tried to look down again searching for the familiar form of the other elf. But the wall was irregular bellow him and the shape of it, the vegetation growing on it and the darkness didn't allow him to see anything. 

After a few moments of doubt, and with his calls going unanswered, he started to climb back down again, as quickly as he could. He tried several unstable holds and going down was proving to be even harder than up, but he persevered, calling for Maitimo. Finally, going around a small bush, he was able to see the form of his cousin clinging to the wall. Findekáno called his name again and this time, as close as they were, Maitimo raised his head and with a long arm grabbed him by the waist placing him between himself and the wall of the cliff. Findekáno raised his voice in complain:

"Maitimo! What are you playing at? I thought you were hurt!" - he said exasperated, trying to hide the relief he felt at being back next to the other, no matter the circumstances. Maitimo wasn't fooled by this attitude, and plastered himself to his cousin back, shielding him protectively from the wind and cold with his own body, and lowering his mouth to his ear answered.

"I was hurt, my hand slipped from this rock and I hurt it. I knew I couldn't catch with you but you would come back to me if I waited." - he said, and continued in angered voice -"What were you thinking Findekáno? You promised you wouldn't try to climb this cliff without me here! You could have been hurt!"- he said. Findekáno tensed in his cousin's arms remembering the reasons of his reckless actions.

"I broke my promise! I don't think you are in a position to talk about promises Maitimo. I remember some promises of eternal fidelity that were broken this night" - he said. All the pain he had been harboring in his heart now in full sight for his cousin to see - "But I suppose this wasn't the first time, was it? You have probably forgotten by now as long as it has been going. My only question _cousin_ " - he made a particular emphasis in the word -" is, how long were you going to keep this going? When was I going to find out? At your betrothal party?" - Findekáno was barely able to let the last two words out. 

Maitimo opened his mouth to answer, but a particularly strong wind, followed by thunder interrupted his retort. Both cousins seemed to notice at the same time, the precarious place they were at the moment, and Findekáno denied with his head, focusing again on the more pressing problem.

"Never mind. Whatever your reasons or plans, it's no longer important, if it ever was. We need to reach one of the caves. This storm is coming strong and the waves will reach this cliff soon. We need to enter them and get away from the sea." - Maitimo nodded at this, looking up again searching for a safe path.

"It is and it always has been _important_. We are not finished with this but you are right, we need to reach a safer place than this. Come on" - he said, and started up again, keeping his younger cousin protected before him, much to Findekáno's annoyance. 

"You don't need to do that Maitimo. I can climb by myself. I've reached this far without you and I don't need your help" - he said, trying to climb ahead and escape from the warm and protective feeling he was feeling at his cousin's actions. Maitimo placed his hurt hand around his waist, keeping him in place while keeping pace with his climbing.

"I know you can climb by yourself. But this winds are perilous and you have all but admitted that you are here because of me. Allow me to compensate a bit for it by protecting you from the weather" - Maitimo said softly. Findekáno's fair and logical mind asserted itself and he answered.

"I'm here because of me, Maitimo. Regardless of your actions, it is I who decided to climb here tonight. You owe me nothing anyway. Any childish vows we made were only that, more fool I if I took them seriously. If I decided to mold my decisions by them, knowing that they didn't bond us in any real way. You were right by forsaking them, don't let my..." - he broke off for a moment, before he soldier on - "You should choose what makes you happy, what I feel is my responsibility, not yours. Whatever pain I'm feeling now, it would be even worse if I were to know that you were made unhappy because of me." - he finished and focused again in climbing the rock. Maitimo seemed to decide that getting to safer ground was the priority right now and kept pace behind him again. 

Findekáno exclaimed suddenly in happiness. He finally had touched with his hand a broader platform above him, and he realized that they must have reached the first of the caves he had seen from the ground. Making a last effort, now the end was near, he hauled himself over the edge and laid at the platform he had reached reaching down to help Maitimo up. Once they were on safe ground, he turned his back and ignored his cousin. He looked to the dark sky, barely touched by the light of Telperion here next to the shore of Aman. He could see the stars of Varda spreading in the sky, blinking beautifully as the lights of the party he had left behind. He closed his eyes to the sight, wishing he could close his mind to his memories as easily, to ignore the presence lying next to them trying to get his breath back. He focused on the smell of the sea and the sound of the wind, cleaning his mind of any thought. Forgetting the party, broken promises or the future he could no longer see with any hope for _them_... There was no them, it was clear to him now that he had been the only one who had been holding on for it. As the clueless child he had always been for _him_. He focused on his breath, on the smell surrounding him, on the wind around him...

* * *

Findekáno laid in the rock for a few moments in as much peace as he had felt since that evening, when he had arrived surprisingly at the party and was surprised himself by what he found there. He now understood his cousin's Makalaüre actions when he had been trying to lead him to the dais to perform a song with him. He had, at the time, found his attitude strange and more nervous than he had thought the situation warranted. Yes, he had arrived unannounced to the party, but Alqualonde's celebrations were much more informal than the ones at Tirion and he had assisted them before with his other cousins.

But Makalaüre had clearly realized what he was really after and he had been, as usual, trying to protect his brother, and his brother's dignity. He probably thought he would make a scene, but nothing was farther from reality. When he came across the couple, openly flirting and laughing among other couples, he had only wanted to hide, to run somewhere he wouldn't have to see or hear something like that ever again. That had been when he had remembered the caves, the isolated, dark caves where he knew he wouldn't have to see anyone. Where he could explore away for days, having to focus on his task not leaving any moment to think about what he had seen. He could stay there for a week or two, as long as he had told his family he was going to be away, and no one would miss him. His family would think he was at Alqualonde visiting his cousins and the Feanorions wouldn't know he was supposed to be with them. Except for Makalaüre, who would think he had gone back home, and wouldn't say anything to anyone for fear of tarnishing his brother's reputation. That had been his reasoning at the time, and he couldn't help to be curious at what had gone wrong. He didn't want to break the silence between them though and open himself to his cousin's questions, so he kept silent and closed his eyes trying to block everything out.

It worked for a while, but something was preventing him from drifting away, the strong winds which were reaching his senses were picking up and he was finally forced to rise from his laid down position to look towards the seashore. The sea, he could see now, was in rare form. Huge waves were constantly breaking on the shore and their small balcony on the cliff didn't look out of reach from the water. Further away, almost at the edge of Telperion's light, he could see the storm clouds closing on their location. 

He turned back to Maitimo, who seemed to be still trying to catch his breath, and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Maitimo, we need to get inside the cave. The storm is getting nearer and soon it will reach us. And I'm not sure that the waves won't hit this place too and pull us in if we stay here." - he said him, urgently. Maitimo seemed to shake off whatever tiredness he was still feeling and raised from the ground, pulling Findekáno up and towards the cave.

"You are right Finno, we need to get inside. I don't like the look of that clouds. And the winds are getting worse. Come on" - both of them entered the cave and looked around the small enclosure. It was a small hole in the cliff side which opened into another set of galleries, going into the mountain. Findekáno looked around in curiosity exploring the unfamiliar cave they had gotten into. The inside of the cave was humid, although the water hadn't reached it for now. Yet, Findekáno wouldn't like to take his chances with the storm outside, and he went to one of the side tunnels. It was a small space, narrow and dark even by his elven sight. However, he didn't think they had much of a choice at the moment, he turned back towards the main room to explore the other entrances but took a step back when he found himself face to...chest with Maitimo.

"Nelyo! I didn't hear you! We should take a look at the other tunnels and pick one. I don't think this cave is safe from the water." - he said, trying to get past his cousin's bulky body. Maitimo reached to him with his unhurt hand to hold him back from getting away from him.

"We should take this one Finno. The others are even narrower than this one and they feel like they go down instead of up. I think this one has an exit to the top." - Maitimo said confidently. Findekáno, after all the highs and lows from the day, allowed himself to trust his cousin judgment in this and to follow his lead. He nodded tiredly with his head and started for the dark and narrow path in front of him. Maitimo looked down at him worriedly and put his arm around his shoulders to lead him and try to keep him warm. Finno was too tired to even complain about it which, he didn't realize, worried his cousin even more.

* * *

After leaving the entrance of the cave, Maitimo and Findekáno had followed the tunnel into the mountain. This tunnel was narrow, dark and humid. At some places, they had a hard time following the path without slipping on the polished floor. Maitimo had forced them into a quick march into the mountain, always keeping his arm around his cousin or a hand in his back when the path was too narrow, and with the sound of the storm and the sea outside continuously in their ears. None of them had said a word about it, but Findekáno was sharp enough to notice that the shape and polish of the tunnel they were in meant the water was continuously flowing into it, to make it that smooth. That suggested that, until they reached a more rough part of the mountain tunnels, they weren't safe if the water reached the wall of the cliff. So they were both going as fast as they could into the labyrinthine paths.

Despite the difficult situation, Findekáno wasn't able to forget the reason the both of them were now in that cave. As angry and hurt as he had been a few hours ago, he was feeling guilty that his cousin had followed him here. He tried to contain his curiosity until they had reached a safe place, but Maitimo could feel his tension with his arm around him and the burden on his mind through the bond they shared so, without relenting their pace, he finally asked him:

"What is wrong Finno? I know you are angry at me and you have the right to be. We will talk about it and you will have the chance to scream me. I have more than earned it. But you are starting to feel down and brooding. What is making you feel like that?" - he asked worriedly. Findekáno shrugged his shoulders despondently. 

"You shouldn't be here Maitimo. I never wanted to put you in danger. Why did you follow me? How did you know I was here to follow? I didn't think you had seen me" - he asked his cousin. 

"Makalaüre told me. He said you were there and when he couldn't stop you, he came looking for me" - Maitimo started. Findekáno nodded unsurprised.

"So he could warn you. He is very protective of you and he wouldn't want for me to embarrass you I suppose. He could have just told me, I would have left at once. I would give much for never having seen what I saw." - Findekáno said, his voice getting lower and lower until the last part was almost inaudible. Maitimo denied with his head and used the arm he had around his cousin to drag his cousin in his arms and hugged him.

"So he could protect us both. He didn't want for you to see what you did. I was wrong Finno, but it is not what you are thinking. I deserve your anger for doing what I did without talking to you, but I don't want you to continue suffering as you are. I was going to wait until we reached a safe place but I can't stand to see you suffering like this. Please, Finno. Let me talk and after you can ask all the questions you want. But let's keep walking. I still don't like the look of these rocks" - Maitimo released his cousin from his embrace and kept walking through the tunnel, while explaining his side. Findekáno kept silent while his cousin talked.

* * *

"So this girl is your brother’s sweetheart, but her family is so ambitious that you three plotted a way for your brother and her to spend time together pretending it was you she was interested in" - Findekáno said, bleakly. Maitimo looked to his love, worried. He had hoped that once all had been explained, Findekáno would lose this distressed attitude and would get angry. Not that he wanted for him to be angry, but it would be better than this out of character depression.

"Yes. They had been seeing each other all summer. Makalaüre is really into her and I think, more serious than he has been for anyone else." - Maitimo explained. Findekáno denied with his head, like trying to shake off something annoying.

"And the three of you have agreed to this?" - he asked. Maitimo nodded with his head.

"Yes, of course. We could only do this if everyone agreed" - he said. Finno turned his head to the side and after a few moments he started to talk.

"Everyone agreed. Everyone involved agreed, didn't they?" - he asked again. Maitimo, finally, started to understand the source of the problem.

"Finno..." - he started, but Findekáno interrupted him starting to show, at least, some anger.

"I didn't agree. I don't agree, but I wasn't involved, was I? I wasn't asked because my opinion wasn't, apparently, necessary. The fact that we have been involved with each other for years, that our own situation is so difficult and precarious and we have so little time together. The fact that you were less than an hour away from me after months apart, and you could have come to me. That, when I heard about where you were I could go to you, and that I would feel heartbroken to see that... That didn't even cross any of your minds, did it? And I suppose it shouldn't. Because all we have promised to each other, it's irrelevant. It's worth nothing" - Findekáno started to walk faster again, trying to get out of his cousin arm around him. Maitimo let him go, lowering his arm but following him close, not wanting to lose him in the caverns they were. 

"That's not true. I was going to visit after that. You were ever in my thoughts, but I wanted to help Makalaüre, he is my brother..." - Maitimo started. Findekáno cut him off at that, even angrier.

"Don't start with that Maitimo! That is not the point! This was beyond anyone would ask a partner to stand. You wouldn't have asked Curvo's wife to stand aside while his husband did this, would you?" - he asked even more irritated. Maitimo looked like he wanted to answer back to that, but he stopped himself. Findekáno smiled ironically at that. - "You don't need to answer, I can see clearly what you were going to say. It's not the same, is it?" - he asked with finality, as he had finally reached some conclusion. Maitimo was scared to ask which one. They had reached, at last, a dry cavern and Findekáno took himself to one of the wall sides sliding down it and hugging his legs while hiding his face in them. Maitimo stayed a few steps apart from him, feeling as he had finally broken something precious.

* * *

Maitimo looked at his cousin in concern. Findekáno had moved from self-hugging and hiding his face after a while. After that, he had laid down on the floor with his head over one of his arms and tried to sleep, ignoring Maitimo's attempts to talk to him. He hadn't moved for hours. Matimo hadn't dared to press him too much, as his uncharacteristic listless attitude was scaring him. It was completely out of character for the cousin who was always in the moment , always having a new plan or a new adventure in mind. Now he seemed to have his will to fight gone, or maybe he had given up on them and their relationship he feared. 

While he was still brooding on what to do, he heard voices. He rose from the place he had taken himself to guard his cousin's sleep, and looked around trying to locate the voices. He heard some indistinct voices coming from somewhere. This place and the tunnels were so intricate it was difficult to place any sound around them. He went to Findekáno's side and shook him gently awake. 

"Finno, someone is here. I think we had been missed" - he said him softly. Findekáno raised sluggishly from his sleep looking around disoriented. 

"Maitimo? Missed? Where...?" - he seemed to remember at that moment and raising from his place at the ground, he walked around trying to find the source of the noise. - "I think it's Tyelko and maybe... Moryo?" - he said trying to put name to the voices. - "I think it's coming from above! It looks like this caverns open into the path above, I think maybe we can climb outside from here without going back the way we came" - Findekáno said, he seemed a bit more animated now he had something else to focus.

They both moved around the tunnel, finding, at last, a place to climb up. Following the sounds from Maitimo's brothers, they reached a place where the light of Laurelin was starting to filter down, they both exclaimed in relief and climbed faster, trying to reach the surface. They hadn't tried to answer the calls after the few times, as the sound was moving weirdly at that cavern and they were only trying to follow their rescuers voices to the exit. 

Findekáno, who had been at the lead, exclaimed surprised and almost toppled back down if not for Maitimo's supporting hand on his back. He tried to look ahead of him for what had surprised his cousin.

"Huan! It's good to see you too!" - Findekáno said, after the first surprise, hugging the big hound's head in relief. Maitimo scratched his brother's loyal companion head in greeting too. Huan, after greeting them, took his head back from the hole and started to bark outside, while they both hauled themselves out of the cavern, at last.

They were outside at last, and they both breathed in relief at the light and fresh air outside. They had exited the cavern above the cliff ground next to the shore. The storm had clearly passed and the day was clear and beautiful. Tyelko and Moryo entered their vision and hugged them in relief. Tyelko to Findekáno and Moryo to his older brother. They were talking over each other trying to check them for injuries and generally being chaotic. Maitimo tried to keep close to his cousin, with his arm around him, while calming his brothers and answering their anxious questions. 

After the first moments of chaos, the four of them walked to the horses to go back home. While they walked down to them, Tyelko told them what had happened the last few hours. They had been apparently missed after the storm had arrived and Makalaüre, worried about their continued absence, had admitted than his older brother had gone after his cousin and they hadn't returned. They had figured out they would take shelter from the storm, and they had sent some search parties once it had cleared to bring them home. Tyelko dispatched one of the servants with them to the other search parties and to their home, so they knew they were safe. They reached the horses and Maitimo hauled himself on the back of his bay mare Aira, he offered his hand down to his cousin, who hadn't his horse here and after a minute moment of doubt, Findekáno accepted it and settled behind his cousin.

* * *

They arrived to the house to a controlled chaos, while the servants, all of Maitimo's brothers and his father came to them to check they had returned safely. Feanáro, in an unusual show of concern, hugged them both in relief. Findekáno was too surprised by his gesture to tense in response, and actually hugged him back instinctively. The older elf gave them a look over and sent them on their way to clean up and rest. 

Maitimo kept his arm around Findekáno, leading him to his suite of rooms on the first floor. His cousin was tense under his arm and he seemed about to shrugged it off when a voice called his name from the stairs.

"Maitimo! You are back, I was so worried!" - a silver haired, familiar female elf went up the stairs towards them. Maitimo felt his cousin tensing under his arm and he had a moment of clarity. He knew then that if he left this play out as _Elinuial_ and his brother, who he could see behind her, expected to go, and let go of Findekáno to play the dutiful suitor, that his cousin would disappear and he wouldn't see him for months or maybe years. 

Despite the barrier Finno kept in his mind from the moment he had seen him at the party, they had been bonded for far too long for him to be able to keep Matimo completely out of his mind, and he could feel the resentful anger his lover felt as that moment. From his lover's perspective they were trying to force his hand by confronting him now. The bond went two ways and he heard Finno's voice in his head:

 **From my perspective?! From the perspective of anyone with eyes Maitimo! It's the early hours and we have clearly just returned from a complicated night. They know how things are between us and how hurt I am! The only reason for them to do this now, in front of me without giving you time to talk with them, is to force you to choose continuing this farce, and let me know clearly where I stand. Like I didn't know that already when Káno let me walk in that instead of taking me aside and tell me what was happening. I don't completely believe that this is not a plot of your brother to set you up with someone more appropriate** \- Findekáno concluded with what he had been fearing all along, from the moment he had heard the ridiculous plot. Maitimo could feel the conflict in his lover's mind, he was fighting the impulse of leaving him to his own devices, as his anger was asking him to do, with the wish to fight back against those who he had hurt him.

Maitimo looked then to his younger brother with new eyes at this and, now he wasn't blinded by his fondness of his siblings, he was able to see the worth of Findekanos' theory. Makalaüre was looking too shifty at them and, now he thought about it, he wasn't sure about the last part because he genuinely looked to be in love with Elinuial, but they were clearly trying to force him to choose. 

He stopped in the hallway with his arm around Findekáno, while his cousin made the choice to wait and see who he was angrier before reacting further. Maitimo also started to feel anger at what they were trying to make him do. Makalaüre must have read his thoughts in his face, understanding at last that things weren't going to go his way this time, because he suddenly tried to stop Elinuial. But it was too late. She didn't know Maitimo well enough and Maitimo was too irritated to make it easier for them. 

When Elinuial seemed to go to throw herself into his arms in a parody of a lover's relief, Maitimo raised the hand he hadn't around his cousin to stop her in her tracks, while Findekáno cold blue eyes tracked her as she was a prey he wanted to hunt. She stopped with a shocked look on her face, seemingly now, at last, starting to read the situation.

"Maitimo? What's wrong? I am so glad you have returned. I was worried when you left me without a word, we were having so much fun..." - she started to talk, every word she pronounced making Findekáno tense more and more, and Maitimo had to put both of his arms around him to make sure he didn't bolt. Elinuial looked to his arms around his cousin looking undecided how to react to this. Makalaüre, having reached them at last, tried to save the situation:

"Nelyo! Finno! I'm so glad you are back. You should go to clean up and rest. I am sure you are so tired now. I will accompany Elinuial in the meantime brother, you don't need to worry about it, I'm sure you and our cousin will feel better in a few hours" - he looked anxious like he wanted Maitimo to play along, now their first gamble of playing the reunited lovers had crashed. Maitimo didn't feel particularly generous at the moment, and was still angered by the two of them trying to further their interests even in the face of Finno's suffering. He looked down to them, with a cold light in his gray eyes, and said:

"You can accompany Elinuial back home if you wish brother. I don't know why she has stayed here tonight. I won't be attending her now or later, or ever again. Whatever the two of you are planning, don't count on me any longer." - he said out loud, not longer caring for anyone overhearing their words. Makalaüre looked taken aback for his words, realizing things were even worse than he had feared.

"Nelyo, please you need to rest. I will go to you later and we can talk about this calmly..." - he started, but Maitimo interrupted him.

"No Makalaüre, this is over. It should have never started, I should have never consented to it. But regardless, it is done but now it is over" - he said, with final voice. He felt Findekáno minutely relax in his arms and he was tempted to kiss him in the crown of his head, but he restrained from it, feeling that his lover hadn't forgiven him at all and he would be risking a harsh reaction. He felt more than heard a small sigh from his younger lover, relaxing at his thoughts and he knew he had made the right decision by respecting his space, he relaxed a bit in turn. Makalaüre, however, didn't look ready to give up.

"No, Nelyo. You can't do this to me! You promised to help..." - Maitimo looked down his brother, silencing him with his cold look that the younger had barely ever been the recipient.

"I promised to help yes, but I didn't promise to help you in the manner you want me to. And I made a prior promise to that, that I've been breaking all these months. I don't think you are in the position of throwing broken promises in my face, brother. Didn't you promise me in turn, that you would do all that was in your hands to avoid hurt Findekáno if this came to his notice?" - he asked, angered as he hadn't been the previous night. Makalaüre tried to defend himself.

"I did my best! I tried to delay him, to distract him..." - Maitimo interrupted him.

"You should have taken him aside and explained to him what was going on and called for me Káno!" - he said to his brother. He realized some of his other siblings were listening to their discussion, and he wondered what they had thought of the last few months as most of them knew, at the very least, of his feelings for Findekáno if not of their relationship. Another thing Makalaüre had convinced him to do, to keep this secret even from their other siblings. If it had been otherwise, any of them could have intercepted Findekáno the previous night.

"Someone could have overheard, I couldn't risk it!" - he tried to justify. Findekáno, who had been listening in uncharacteristic silence so far, raised his head from the ground he had been watching to keep himself from intervening, and turned back to Makalaüre at that. He saw how his cousin and Elinuial took a step back at what they saw in his face, or maybe at the pain still engraved in his features. 

"You couldn't _risk_ for someone to overhear?" - Finno said in almost a whisper. Makalaüre flinched at the tone, as if he had screamed it. - "But you could risk for me to see what I saw, couldn’t you? You could risk for me to watch the one I've loved for decades, for someone I hadn't seen in months, to flirt and laugh and looking as if he was cheating on me without any context, without any warning. Thank you Makalaüre, for showing me so clearly who you are" - Findekáno said darkly, to a cousin he had loved as a brother. 

Makalaüre had lost all semblance of color in his face. Maitimo could see the rest of his brothers looking blankly at the scene. He knew that most of them loved Findekáno, who had always expended time with them long before they had realized their feelings, as another brother. Makalaüre's actions would suit badly among them, even if they hadn't liked Findekáno. Elves were very resilient to elements and the wear of time, but the bonds of love and friendship were sacred among them because when two elves bonded like that, betrayal to those bonds could affect them very harshly. Not even his father, with all he had problems with his half-brother, had even contemplated to break the bond between the two cousins. He welcomed Findekáno in their house and honored their friendship. The only reason the two of them haven't admitted their deeper bond to their parents had been because of Finno's younger age, and that was probably no longer a concern Maitimo realized. 

Findekáno had probably arrived to that conclusion a while ago, he looked down to his cousin who had tensed even more in the last few moments. Despite the fact that he was clearly trying to clear his mind of any thought, the strength of his feelings betrayed him. Maitimo caught a stray memory he couldn't hide, of planning to arrive to the party to ask Maitimo to come clean to their families, and the fleeting image of bonding rings being thrown away into the sea. Maitimo felt his heart seize at the image. He knew his cousin, as spontaneous as he was, for something like this he had probably agonized for months, planning the right words, searching for the appropriate rings, probably saving for months to pay for them... again now that he was focused on their bond, he saw the fleeting image of Finno's desk while he designed the rings and his heart break anew.

"Rings for us? And you designed them yourself? Oh Finno...." - he could feel his eyes fill with tears, unable to stand the thought of all that work lost. Findekáno shrugged his shoulders in response and said.

"It was stupid. For me to think I could design something worthy of you. A son of Fëanáro. It's just as well I throw them away before I could make more of a fool of myself. They weren't worth the gold they were made of. If you father would have gotten a look at them he would have been the one to throw them away, and he would have been right to do it." - Findekáno waved off that lost as it was nothing of importance. Another voice intruded in their discussion before Maitimo could voice any complaint.

"As much as I honor that feeling, as I think little is worth enough for my children, I would have liked to make that judgment myself Findekáno. We will review this issue later, as there are more pressing issues right now as far as I can tell" - Fëanáro appeared at the hallway from the stairs to the second floor, where he had been listening to their discussion, unnoticed. 

He turned to his younger son and the female he had thought was interested in his older son and looked darkly to them. Despite all his faults, Fëanáro had always valued straightforward and brave people, that was one of the reasons he liked Findekáno even with his problems with the younger elf's father. 

"And what is this about you two? What game were the two of you playing and why did you get your brother involved in it?" - he asked, harshly. Maitimo and Findekáno backed away from the line of fire and left Makalaure to the consequences of his own actions and decisions. Maitimo couldn't even summon a bit of guilt for it, after finding the full scope of the consequences they had. He grabbed Finno's hand in his and led him away again to his rooms, this time reaching them without interruption. Findekáno allowed himself to be led away, as long as he could get away from public view. Their problems had already become too much for public consumption to his taste.

* * *


	2. Making amends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maedhros has been trying to balance his love for his _half_ -cousin with the duties to his family for a long time. As the oldest of Feanor's sons, he has been trying to hold the family together, but maybe he is not required to sacrifice his own happiness?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, compounding with the last chapter, I'm trying for Mae's point of view here. He is a good-meaning fool but a fool nevertheless. I'm trying to see if he can redeem himself with Fingon, although he will need to stand for himself first.  
> I'm trying not to make anyone the bad guy here, but maybe Maglor is coming a bit affected? I've read a lot of fics where he is a bit co-dependent on his older brother and this has influenced me in my portrayal of him. He feels his brother should help him with his problems, and he is not taking Fingon's feelings into account, because he feels he is entailed to his brother full attention and help, regardless of his previous commitments. Not fully evil but selfish and self-centered. But he has room to grow as everyone, and I'm figuring they are all pretty young. I think, regardless of age, young elves in Aman took a while to grow up as they had no danger, risk, threats. No true challenges. The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that they were younger than their ages.   
> So, that's my theory. Maedhros is going to realize that his actions can hurt people. And that if he wants to have a real relationship with someone, he needs to put them first, not always at the last place behind all his family nonsense. And Maglor will need to realize that his brother has his own life and responsibilities and he needs to respect his brother's partner place and feelings.  
> I wasn't planning for this chapter to be only Fingon and Maedhros but they have hogged all the attention here. So I will need to leave Feanor and the rest for the next one. I hope you all enjoy it anyway.
> 
> betaed by books4life16

Findekáno entered the room and turned back to Maitimo with a decided look in his eyes.

"We need to talk, but I've been wrestling with sea water, sand, and worse for the last few hours and I need to bath and eat something before I can even start to hash this out with you" - Findekáno started. Maitimo nodded in agreement and said.

"There is a bathroom here and another in the hallway. I will take the last one and call a servant to bring us food. We will reconvene here after bathing and talk while we eat, is that alright?" - he asked, trying to read his cousin’s mood. Findekáno nodded thoughtfully and turned back to the bedroom.

"That's alright with me, I will need to borrow some clothes from you. I left my things at the Inn" - he said walking towards Maitimo's wardrobe after getting a nod of agreement. He browsed for a bit and took out some sleeping clothes. Soft and warm and smelling faintly of Maitimo. 

Maitimo trailed after Findekáno and stopping behind his cousin, using his longer reach, took another pair for himself. Despite all the unresolved problems between them, both cousins were used to work with each other and they moved around the other seamlessly, like a choreographed dance. Once they had gathered all they needed for their baths, Findekáno walked to the other door in the bedroom leading to the en-suite bathroom, while Maitimo left for the one outside, hailing a servant in the way to ask for food.

* * *

Maitimo took a long sip from his drink, savoring the warm tea while surveying his cousin's face. All around them was the remains of the breakfast-slash-feast they had enjoyed. A mixture of their favorites foods the kitchen had sent to them as a treat, clearly knowing Findekáno was with him. Maitimo would have to remember to thank them later for it , but for now he could see that the delicious food had warmed and relaxed his cousin a bit and he was almost hesitant to bring up what had happened. Findekáno showed his bravery once again by starting the conversation himself.

"Your father looked furious with your brother, I was a bit surprised by his reaction but then, as much as he loves cunning and complicated plots, he hates to see them used in political games, even more when it has to do with his family" - Findekáno started. Maitimo, who had been more focused on their own problems than the scene they had left behind, was taken aback at the comment but answered cautiously.

"Atto doesn't like people trying to ingratiate themselves with him or our family, less so if they do it by deception. And he has always taught us to be able to recognize those who will try to take advantage of our friendship for their own reasons" - he admitted. Findekáno nodded unsurprised.

"I don't like it either. It's one of the things I hate the most about our position at Tirion. Those Court games where people try to out play the other again and again. An eternal game of lies where no one knows what the other really think. Despite all the secrecy, I thought our relationship wasn't like that. We couldn't be open about our feelings to avoid our parents having another reason to fight, but we weren't lying anyone about it or trying any misdirection. We were as sincere in our friendship and loyalty to each other as we could, until we could be open about our feelings. " - Findekáno admitted sadly. Maitimo took his cousin's hands earnestly and said.

"It is like that Finno, I can't tell you how sorry I am about what happened here. But I never thought of this as something to do with us! I only wanted to help my brother" - he said. Findekáno sighed tiredly. 

"And that's the problem Maitimo. Your brother wanted this girl he just met, don't make me start in on the value of this summer crush. Anyway, instead of trying to make it work with her family, they involve you in this ridiculous plot of theirs, so they don't have to make any effort to be together. And you accept it, without giving any thought for our own relationship where we haven't seen each other in months. You didn’t put any value on what I would feel about it if I were to, I don't know, hear you were less than an hour away from me and decided to visit, maybe wondering why you haven't been in touch?" - he asked ironically. Maitimo winced in response and Findekáno continued -"So, it was like I wasn’t worth a moment of thought , you didn’t tell your brother that you couldn't help him because you were already involved with someone and you couldn't do that to them." - Findekáno looked away, restlessly moving his fingers like he wanted to take them away from Maitimo's grasp. 

Maitimo felt crushed, unable to defend himself from his cousin's conclusions. After a few moments of doubt he started to talk.

"You are right" - Findekáno raised his head surprised, having never expected a son of Feanáro to admit something like that. - "Yes, you are right. I don't have any defense, any justification about how I've behaved. It is true that I wanted to help Makalaure, and it is also true that I shouldn't have agreed to participate in this plan, for many reasons, not only our relationship. But it is even truer, that I haven't been treating our relationship as I should have on top of that. You have been patient, loyal, kind, and brave. And I've been taking advantage of that, leaving you to shoulder all the weight of our relationship. You are the one who is always looking for excuses to come to me, accepting my own excuses when we can't be together. It may have been that I felt my father would be harder to convince than yours, and that I should be at my best behavior if I wanted him to someday accept us. But that has also been proved wrong today. I don't have any excuses left for my actions" - Maitimo looked down in shame. Findekáno took a bracing breath, like reading himself for the worst and asked.

"Do you want one? Is this something you want to fight for? Maybe you hadn't made much of an effort because deep down it's not something you want to fight for and you wanted an out" - Findekáno looked scared to ask. Maitimo shook his head in denial.

"If you can believe something Findekáno, believe this: I love you, you are the best part of my life and I can't imagine my life without you. I know most people don’t see this side of me, as Feanáro's oldest son I am suppose to be daring, clever, an inspiration to the younger generation in Tirion. But you and I both know I am not like that. I am serious, reserved, and I prefer the library to the training arena. If not for you pushing your way into my life and challenging me, pushing me to follow after you into an adventure, to have fun learning new things, challenging what I had learned to see if it fit with what I saw...I would have been the most boring Prince of all grandfather's court" - Maitimo smiled in memory - "You were such a hellion. Such a huge whirlwind of energy and fun and daring. And you fixed on me, never leaving me alone, trying to involve me in your adventures."

Findekáno, a bit embarrassed about the memory and how he had pestered his older cousin for attention, not even knowing at the time why he was so fascinated and almost obsessed with getting the tall red-head’s attention, had to smile back.

"I was a pest as a child, wasn't I? I just wanted to be your friend, you looked so different, sophisticated and knowledgeable. I want to be like you, and wanted to learn all about you" - he admitted. He let out a long breath - "When I grew up and I felt in love with you, understanding by then all the implications and the problems between our fathers, I didn't expect for you to ever return my feelings. I was happy just being your friend and seeing you happy. But you know me, I just couldn't let it go without even trying or I would have regretted it forever, so when you kissed me back..." - he trailed off, lost in the memory. Maitimo kissed the hand he was still holding.

"You weren't a pest. You were impossibly cute, all blue-eyes and braids, not even reaching my waist and you were braver than anyone else I had ever met. How could I have resisted when you grew and combined that happy and brave _fëa_ with such a handsome _hroa_? I never had a chance" - They drifted into silence, both remembering their shared friendship with fondness. Findekáno finally bit his lip nervously, not wanting to break the moment but yet wanting answers.

"So, where do we go from here Maitimo? I don't think things can stay the same as they were, now that your father knows. I don't know if I could stay as we were even if we could ." - he asked softly, almost scared of what he would say. Maitimo felt three inches tall for making his cousin feel this uncertain of himself and of them.

"It can't and won't stay the same Findekáno. You are too important to me and this is too special for it continue as it has so far. If you allow this, if you have it in you to give me another chance, we will do this right. As we should have from the start." - Matimo declared, righting himself and rising from the table, using the hand he was still holding to bring his cousin up with him. He drew him to his side and took his face between his hands, lowering his own head to his cousin's height to touch their foreheads fondly, looking deeply in the blue eyes he so loved - "Give me the chance to make this right Finno. I know I haven't done this right, that I have taken you for granted. Give me the chance to show you, and our families, what you mean to me. You don't have to do anything but let me cherish you and I will do my best to regain the trust I have so badly used" - he vowed seriously. 

Findekáno closed his eyes in thought, trying to clear his mind and think without being influenced by those beautiful grey eyes. While he couldn't forget the pain he had suffered last night or the small slights he had suffered over the last few months... at the end of the day he knew his cousin's heart. He knew he was kind, brave, and loyal. Clever and funny even if he didn't believe it himself. Whatever his faults, they came from his wish to make everybody happy. From his self-appointed duty of keeping the peace in their complicated family. From putting other people’s happiness before his. Findekáno knew all this and had fallen in love with this foolish elf anyway, and vowed to protect him from himself as well as from others taking advantage. 

He opened his eyes again and looked up to his cousin, Maitimo's face still so close. Always more comfortable with action than words, he closed the distance between them and kissed him softly. Maitimo answered the kiss in kind, moving his hand into his braided hair while he kept the other angling his face. After a few moments, they both drew away. Maitimo led him towards the small settee next to the fireplace and they sat down in the loveseat, touching their foreheads again. Findekáno rested both of his hand in his cousin's shoulder, caressing the soft sleeping shirt he was wearing and said:

"It's not going to be easy" - he warned. Maitimo nodded in answer.

"I know. I don't expect you to forget everything that happened. I know I need to recover the trust I threw away with this scheme with Makalaure. But I won't waste this opportunity. I know how precious it is. How precious it is what I have already wasted" - a memory of those rings thrown into the sea, came to his mind - "Oh, Finno! I can't believe that my stupidity made us lose what you had worked on for so long and so hard, forgive me!" - he asked. Findekáno smiled a bit self-deprecating.

"It may have been for the best Maitimo, they weren't worth that much. I had only the idea that I may be able to win your father's approval by making them myself. I wasn't expecting them to be worthy of you, and they weren't. I don't know if I would have had the nerve to show them to you in any case" - he admitted. Maitimo was skeptical of this but decided to let it go for now, a half-formed plan of looking for them some time later. Looking down into his love's face, he realized that he looked tired from their adventure and probably, he realized then, from the long ride from Tirion. He put his arms around the slighter form of his cousin, drawing him to his chest and kissed the crown of his head.

"You should rest for a bit, it has been a long two days for us both" - Maitimo said, caressing Findekano's back, trying to relax him enough to rest for a few hours. Findekáno allowed him the movement, actually too tired to argue, and burrowed into his cousin's chest, closing his eyes. Findekáno felt himself falling into reverie at the calming and soothing movements of Maitimo's hands, and slipped into sleep without realizing it. Maitimo kept his movements even after the deep breaths in his chest tell him of his love had fallen asleep. He had, however, too much in his mind to sleep and he spent the time planning for their future.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names cheat sheet, I like to use the Quenya names instead the Sindarin ones. I like them and I think it's what they would use anyway:  
> \- Fingon: Findekáno, Finno  
> \- Maedhros: Maitimo, Nelyafinwë, Nelyo, Russandol, Russ  
> \- Maglor: Makalaüre, Káno  
> \- Curunfin: Curufinwe, Curvo  
> \- Carantir: Morifinwe, Moryo.


	3. The start of something beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feanáro gets truth first hand from the source. What will his reaction be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don't want to make this story too long. Maybe it could be a series with Maitimo and Findekano working to change their family's destiny. But I wasn't planning to make this further than resolve this situation :D. I'm trying to give closure about Maitimo and Findekáno and open this for a series, where we will be able to see the rest of the family reactions.
> 
> betaed by books4life16

Feanaro looked down to his work table and let go of the small instrument he had been holding, finally deciding it was a loss for the evening work. This was the third experiment he ruined because of his lack of focus. He had been irritated from the first hour of the morning when he had been told his oldest son had been missing all night. He had sent scouting parties, including his third son to look for Nelyafinwë, although he was almost certain he was safe, it was very out of character for him to leave without notice to anyone. Makalaure had been behaving strangely all evening and he had made notice of his constant presence next to that young elleth, _Elinuial_ , Nelyo had been supposedly courting. 

Regardless of his children's opinion - and he couldn't yet see them as anything else - he wasn't blind to Nelyo and Findekáno feelings and he had been resigned to their eventual bonding for a long time, just waiting for Finno's majority for them to formalize it. As many problems as he had with his half-siblings, he hadn't any with their children. Although the pain of his mother’s loss had impeded the possibility of any relationship he could have had with his father’s second wife and children, he didn't have the same distaste for the second generation. Findekáno for one, had relentlessly followed his cousins around, and made himself a place among them, even winning Feanáro's approval with his cleverness, loyalty and bravery. He had been a good friend to Maitimo specially, and helped his oldest son to become more than he would have on his own. Daring him to reach out further than he would have without his influence. 

Feanáro was critical enough to realize that Maitimo had shouldered, from very young, much more responsibility and pressure than he should have and that had made him a more serious child than he should have been. Always watching out for his younger siblings, helping his grandfather at Court, playing the dutiful son, heir and first born of the Crown Prince. 

His younger cousin had crashed into that situation with his usual lack of subtlety. Vital and full of energy, he had engaged his older cousin's attention and drew him out of the shell he had created around himself. Drawing him into adventures, and all around messing with his ordered life. And to his great surprise, making him happy. Feanáro had been unable, even if he would have wanted it, to make any complaint of it, when he realized how much improved his son's life had become with his cousin's presence in it. Nerdanel and he had worried for so long for their son's happiness, aware of the fact that their own failings as parents had made their oldest have to step up to help with his siblings, that it had been a relief to see him like that. Free and careless and having the time of his life doing nothing but having fun.

Therefore, last summer’s situation had been a surprise. From the moment he had noticed that elleth presence next to his oldest son, he had been suspicious. He hadn't known what was happening but not for a moment had he believed that Nelyo was courting her seriously. He had been missing his wife's presence in their lives that summer more than ever since the moment she had moved out, saying she couldn't stay with him any longer. Their love had been strong and passionate, and she had been as much as a partner as anyone he had ever met. But his difficult personality and obsessive behavior had finally pushed her out. Feanáro had been furious at first but resigned in the end, and now he had accepted her decision hoping some time apart would make her reconsider. In the meantime, his sons and he had kept going with their lives the best they could. But this summer, and this morning, Feanáro had felt her loss particularly. 

Last night happenings had finally shed some light into the matters at hand, and Feanáro had been furious. Angered with his sons for making that ridiculous plot to start with, and even more so to have them execute it so badly. 

A knock was heard on the door of his workshop and he called the visitor in. He raised his brows in surprise at Nelyo and Findekáno's presence. He had thought they would hole up in Nelyo's room for another day at least, but he had underestimated his nephew's bravery again. Nelyo looked more nervous than his partner actually. Findekáno had the same bland look he had had last night when he had been watching _Elinuial_ and Makalaure's little plot unraveling. He bowed slightly to his uncle while Nelyo and him stopped in front of his work desk, hands joined between them. Feanáro returned the bow in kind and decided to start the conversation.

"Well, I wasn't expecting to see the two of you today" - he decided to admit. Findekáno smiled wryly in answer and after looking back to Nelyo in silent communication, answered back.

"My Lord Uncle. Thank you for your hospitality in such a short notice. Maitimo and I have been talking and we decided it was time for us to talk to you, as you have been so supportive of the situation even without knowing the full story behind it. We wanted to clear things with you and ask for your blessing if you are inclined to give it to us" - Findekáno started, clearly having rehearsed his words with Nelyo, who had been nodding along. Feanáro went around the desk to stand before his son and nephew and looked at both of them seriously. Even with all his suspicions, there were many things he still didn't know about and he appreciated the chance to ask some questions. 

"I would like to have the full picture before I gave any judgment of this, would you be willing to answer me sincerely Findekáno, Nelyo?" - he asked, waved them towards the small lounge he had in his workshop. Both young elves looked scared but resigned and nodded along, walking to the love seat and sitting next to each other looking to Feanáro expectantly . Feanáro took the seat before them and linking his hands together, started his questions.

"I am still at a loss as to what has happened this past month. This is mostly a question to you Nelyo, as I'm aware Findekáno had nothing to do whatsoever with this plot with that elleth. Please explain to me your reasoning" - Feanáro asked, looking to his oldest with a serious mien. Nelyo looked distinctly uncomfortable, but taking a deep breath started to talk looking down into his hands. 

"I can't give you a good reason for it _Atto_. It was one of the most stupid decisions I've made in a long time and I'm ashamed for the pain I brought with it for Findekáno and the shame I brought to you with my behavior" - he started softly. Findekáno looked uncomfortable to be brought up, but didn't look away from Nelyo's face. - "Makalaüre came to me one day two months ago. He had met this girl while we were visiting the coast and they had hit off really well. They wanted to keep knowing each other, but her father was an ambitious elf in harú's Council. He had been aiming for a while for one of his daughters to catch my eye, as your first son. Giving that all Finwe's children have already married or made very clear that marriage weren't their thing, he had set his hopes in the next generation. And I was his main goal." - Nelyo continued his narrative. Feanáro was starting to feel more than a bit angry at all this situation, but he restrained of interrupting his son. Nelyo kept talking - "Makalaüre didn't feel he was a good enough prospect for this elf to be allowed to court Elinuial, and he didn't want to have to sneak around her parents for them to know each other and see if what they had could work. So they asked for my help" - he said the last part in a rush. Feanáro felt then he could interrupt at last.

"They asked for your help? Didn't your brother know how things were between you and Findekáno? Or I've been mistaken all this time and the two of you haven't all but formally bonded by now?" - he asked. Nelyo looked down ashamed again, having briefly raised his eyes to his father's.

"All my brothers and Findekáno's knew about us. We have only been waiting for him to reach his majority to tell both of our parents. We didn't mean to keep it a secret but we preferred to avoid any questions about consent. We had been keeping our relationship very friend-like until he was old enough" - Nelyo said blushing lightly. Feanáro decided not to push about it, knowing his son quite well and trusting his good sense, usually. He wouldn't have done anything which would jeopardize his cousin's innocence or their eventual bonding.

"So what happened. Findekáno has been of age for a while now, and I'm sure you both have been taking advantage of that. Why would you accept your brother's suggestion with the relationship you would jeopardizing at stake?" - Feanáro asked. Findekáno, who had kept his eyes low during the last part of Nelyo's confession, returned his gaze back to the older elf, interested in his answer also.

"I didn't really think of it as jeopardizing anything. I know it was stupid of me to think I could do this, but I thought it would only be necessary to let Elinuial's father to think I was interested in her, and she and Makalaüre could do their thing. At first I only went with them on their first dates, picking up Elinuial at her family's house and dropping her with Kano. Then I would ride away for the evening, and came back to drop her back at her house." - he explained. Feanáro had to admit that was mainly what he had witnessed himself. He looked expectant to his son waiting for the next part. Nelyo made a face, and continued - "The problem came when we left her town, to come to Alqualonde for the last part of the summer. Makalaüre wanted to invite her here, but that was only possible if we invited her to the party. And if we invited her parents too. So we needed to look like a courting couple, for the first time, in public so her parents didn't suspect." - he trailed off uncertainty . Findekáno had made a small distressed sound at that last part and was looking very firmly down to his clenched hands. Feanáro could feel his heart feeling for the young elf, he couldn't imagine how he would have felt in his place, if he had ever seen Nerdanel in that kind of situation, once they had started their own courtship. He tried to draw out the young elf from his memories by speeding that part along.

"That is what you arrived to see I take, and you decided to take off?" - Feanáro asked as kindly as he could, knowing it wouldn't be an easy tale to tell. Findekáno raised his dark blue eyes to his uncle, made darker by the pain, and spoke slowly like he was still remembering.

"I had heard Maitimo was at Alqualonde. And having not seen him for months, since you all left for your travels, I decided to come here. I couldn't stay away once I knew he was so close" - he trailed off uncomfortable, clearly the contrast between his decisions and Nelyo's wasn't lost to him. He continued with a rough voice - "When I saw them..." - he trailed off again but soldier on stubbornly - "I decided to walk away. I didn't know what had happened this past few months, but suddenly it became clear why I had so little news from him. Why he hadn't come to me when you had returned. Alqualonde and Tirion weren't that far apart that he couldn't have taken a horse to see me if he really wanted. I couldn't think straight but I didn't want to go back to Tirion to my siblings's questions, they knew where I had gone and why. Then I remembered the cliffs and how Maitimo and I had promised to climb them once we had the chance. That chance didn't seem likely to come anymore, and I had been so hopeful to make that climb. Suddenly it became impossible important not to lose that chance among all the loss I was suffering. It wasn't rational" - Findekáno admitted with a painful smile. Nelyo's face looked carved in pain at his side. Findekáno continued his narrative without looking to anyone - "It wasn't rational but I felt I could survive the night if I could only rescue one dream among all the broken ones. So I went to the coast, threw away the rings I had planned to offer to Maitimo and started to climb. I was numb by then and I can't remember much until I heard Maitimo's voice calling me from below. He reached me at last and we got into the caves where we spent the night until Tyelko found us in the morning" - he concluded. Feanáro and Nelyo looked down to the younger elf in helpless sympathy. No matter the reasons or how they rationalize it, to see what Findekáno had seen unprepared and unaware of the circumstances, was a pain no one would wish on someone else. Feanáro decided to turn the conversation a bit around, so he could help his nephew to recover his composure. 

"I didn't know you designed jewelry. I had thought that after you finished your apprenticeship with me that you wouldn't have stepped in a forge again, as the rest of my nephews and some of my sons have if I'm being truthful" - Feanáro said kindly. Findekáno seemed to understand and appreciate his uncle's efforts and answered in the same tone.

"I couldn't compare myself to you or any of your sons my lord uncle" - he started carefully, and continued bravely - "But I enjoyed your teachings greatly and I kept with them after I left your forge with the rest of my cousins and siblings. I wouldn't have dared to imply you should keep me as an apprentice, I knew I wasn't talented enough, but I was interested and kept studying independently. I got some space in the city and went there when I had the time." - Findekáno explained calmly. He, as the rest of Fëanáro's nephews, had studied at his uncle's house after an edict from Finwe. Fëanáro, after the first irritated response, hadn't found teaching them as onerous as he had expected initially. Most of the boys hadn't talent for the forge, but they had all dutifully learned the basics of it. He had noticed, at the time, that Nolofinwe's oldest had been more talented than the others and more interested, but he hadn't the time to follow that thought after the year Finwe had decreed for their apprenticeship had passed. And Fëanáro hadn't wanted to bend that far as to ask him if he wanted to stay. Clearly, Findekáno hadn't felt as he could ask for more time either.

"I would have accepted you in my forge if you were interested in continuing with your studies with me" - his uncle said softly. Findekáno smiled at his uncle. 

"I know you would. But I wasn't good enough to take your time like that or to take space there sir. I wouldn't have imposed on your house for that" - Findekáno said, modestly. Fëanáro touched his chin raising his eyes to his and said.

"I would like to judge that for myself too. Do you have the design for those rings somewhere?" - he asked. Findekáno nodded carefully and Fëanáro smiled then. 

"Well, then we will review them together and you will forge them again. Maybe with Maitimo's help, if the two you have reached some kind of agreement last night?" - he asked, looking now to his older son, raising an eyebrow in question. Maitimo, still recovering from Findekáno's tale, looked shocked and hopeful at the same time at his father's reaction. Leave to Finno to gain his father's approval by simultaneously making the effort of creating their own engagement rings and also, stroking his ego by dramatically throwing them away, saying they were not worthy of him. As much as it hurt him to have lost the work of his beloved's hands, he had to admit that this situation was so much better that he could have hoped for.

"Of course _Atto_. With your and Finno's leave, I would love to help Finno with this" - he smiled tentatively at his father. Fëanáro nodded brusquely now, a bit uncomfortable as he usually was with his own kind impulses. 

Findekáno looked uncertain towards Maitimo, and his son took his bonded hand between his talking slowly and seriously.

"I told you this morning Finno, that we would change how we have been going with this. No more secrets or vagueness. If you give me this chance, I will court you as you deserve to be courted. And you will be first in my heart and mind. You are my priority, always, and I will show you this every day if you allow it" - he vowed and looking back to his father sheepishly he continued - "And I know I'm not good at the forge, but I will help you as much as I can with this so these rings are a gift to each other. I can barely bear the pain of having lost the first ones, but we will make these one's fully ours if you want" - he asked in earnest. Findekáno looked torn between his wish of holding his grudge and hugging his cousin. Finally, he succumbed to the temptation of Nelyo's pleading grey eyes, and hugged him tightly, softly saying yes in his ear. Feanáro rose from his seat, giving the couple a bit of privacy. After a few moments, when the two had the chance to compose themselves, he went back to them with three glasses and a bottle. Findekáno looked to have recovered a bit of his characteristic irreverent humor because he smiled when he took the glass and said.

"Of the possible ways I have imagined to get your secret stash of wine uncle. This hadn't even crossed my mind" - the younger elf admitted, half serious. Nelyo looked about ready to plant his hand in his beloved's mouth to keep him from saying anything foolish. Feanáro rewarded him with a wry smile. 

"You should compare notes with Tyelko and Curvo. They have stolen their way into it more than once, although they think they are being discreet." - Feanáro commented filling the three cups with a clear liquor. Once they were all filled, he raised his cup and said - "You have, when you arrived here, asked for my blessings. Know that you have them. I haven't met a couple more right for each other than you two. You are strong when the other is not and you fit each other like no one else I know. Be each other's home as you have always been. To your happiness, may you find shelter in each other forever" - he concluded. Findekáno and Nelyo raised their own cups and clicked them before taking a sip smiling at each other in relief. The first step into their future was taken.

It wouldn't be an easy path to take. Next, it would be the turn for Findekáno's family. They both knew it would be difficult, but it would be worth it. Maitimo would need to confront his brother and made peace with Makalaüre, if they could find a way to make it work. Makalaure, and his intended would need to find a way to further their own relationship without jeopardizing other people's happiness. But whatever decision they reached, it would be together, he and Findekáno would find a way to make it work out, to reach peace between their families and to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names cheat sheet, I like to use the Quenya names instead of the Sindarin ones. I like them and I think it's what they would use anyway:  
> \- Fingon: Findekáno, Finno  
> \- Maedhros: Maitimo, Nelyafinwë, Nelyo, Russandol, Russ  
> \- Maglor: Makalaüre, Káno  
> \- Curunfin: Curufinwe, Curvo  
> \- Carantir: Morifinwe, Moryo.


End file.
